Captain Hero has Issues
by gertyrax
Summary: Oneshot. Captain Hero masturbates while crossdressing. This takes place somewhere in season 2. I know a lot of people hate this character, but his psychology is kind of fascinating LOL. I interpret him as deeply repressed, and that most of his disorders, paraphilias were caused by the shit he did to himself as a child... Anyways, this fic is kind of rushed and pretty stupid.


Captain Hero stormed into his room. He was wearing a red corset with black straps, black lacy panties, thighhighs and a garterbelt to match, and red high heels. Why? Because Xandir had dragged him along to a gay pride parade, and when in gay Rome… That's how all gay people dress, right?

 _Cuts to the parade. Captain Hero is the only one dressed so scantily. Mostly everyone else is wearing jeans and a pride t-shirt._

The event had gone disastrously. For some reason, even the most mundane interactions between two men left Hero with strange feelings in his gut.

 _Passerbys whistle at Captain Hero and compliment him, making him feel shy, for some reason. One passerby goes so far as to slap him on the ass and tell him "Nice ass." Xandir stands there saltily, annoyed by the attention Hero is attracting. "Why did he even agree to come here?" says Xandir._

In his room, Captain Hero tried to awkwardly remove the corset and fumbled with the straps on the back. Then suddenly he stopped, realizing he was in front of the mirror in his room. He stopped trying to undress, and took a moment to check himself out.

The corset left his nipples exposed and made his figure look curvier. The panties had pink lace and a red bow on his crotch. The stockings made his legs look softer and more supple. From back, panties formed a neat triangle on ass. He blushed a bit when he realized how roundly-shaped his ass was when he wasn't wearing spandex shorts.

He bent over a bit, while still looking at his reflection. He checked that nobody was coming, then spanked himself once on the ass. " _Hiii_ ," he whined. Then he suddenly realized what he was doing and got up immediately.

"All right! Enough of that! Time to get this stuff off of me once and for all!"

He went back to undressing, only to realize that he a raging boner from looking at himself earlier.

"Damn you, confusing thoughts!" he cried. He plopped down on his bed and hung his head over his knees in shame. He looked down at the bulge between his legs. Something about the way it looked in the lacy underwear aroused him, and he didn't know why.

He started fondling himself, and rubbing one of his nipples. Undignified noises escaped from him.

"No, wait! Stop!" he said, "I'm a super hero dammit! Not some goddamn queer!"

He paused, then said, "But then, I _did_ spend $20 on this cheap corset I bought from Walmart." So he went back to diddling himself.

"Hahhh… Haa _aoohh_ ," he moaned, spreading his knees further apart. He pressed his feet into the bed and started playing with his balls. His free hand wandered from his nipple up to his mouth. He stuck his fingers in his mouth, licking and sucking on them erotically. Then his hand went down his body. Running along his chest, waist, and hips, it stopped at his ass and pressed a wet finger press against his pucker. He gasped.

" _What am I doing?_ " he said effeminately, then quickly said more masculinely, "I mean, **by God** , what am I doing?!"

But his hand didn't stop, and stuck a finger up his asshole. He went on his back, arching his feet and lifting his ass from off the bed. He shut his eyes tight and made strangled sounds while he jerked himself off with one hand and fingerfucked himself with the other. He bit his lip and whimpered when two more fingers joined the first and started massaging his prostate.

 _Is this how Unusually Flexible Girl felt?_

"Ggh," he stopped momentarily, his face burning with shame. His panties were stretched out of position and crinkled, only covering his balls. His dick was sticking out of the underwear, fully erect. He was sweating and flustered, all from fucking himself up the ass with his hand.

The image, or, perhaps, that the image turned him on so much, made him feel a twinge of disgust. He flipped over onto his stomach, and grumbled into the pillow.

"Maybe it's true...Maybe I am...ohh," he couldn't say it, "and maybe I am repressing these thoughts, creating a second, hyperexaggerated submissive personality that affects my judgement and causes me extreme emotional instability. That's, at least, what my fake psychiatrist tells me. I don't know! What do you guys think?"

The masculine and feminine voices in his head manifested from his imagination into two miniature versions of himself, one on each side of his head.

The hypermasculine side of himself said, " **No way!** It's Captain **Hero** , not Captain **Homo**! I like **women** , beer, and **tits** , not getting fucked up the ass! **Women** want to fuck me, as I use my big, strong biceps to save- uh, hey, what are you-?"

The hyperfeminine side interrupted him by jumping onto his lap. He started grinding his ass into the other counterpart's crotch. "I can't take it any more! _Fuck me, Captain Hero!_ "

The two personas started passionately making out and fucking right next to Captain Hero's face.

"I don't have time for this! It's breaking my concentration. Hyaah!" Captain Hero threw both of the split personalities out the window, breaking the glass. Not knowing what else to do, he went back to massaging his prostate, this time from behind.

"Mmm, yeah... _Oh yeah.._ " he grunted against the pillow, before getting exasperated. "Oh! This isn't working!" He pulled his fingers out of his ass, and let his arm drop to the bed. He sniffed his fingers, then wiped them on one of his thighs. Gross.

The fact of the matter was that his fingers alone weren't enough to satisfy him. He huffed in frustration, then noticed something across the room, sitting on top of Xandir's drawer. It was a big, black dildo, wet from use. It had a heart-shaped "to-for" card, indicating it was from "Fernando", whoever the fuck that was.

"Ohhh," Captain Hero moaned. He didn't want to be gay, but he _had_ spent $20 on this corset for crying out loud. Also, he had just recently awakened his telekinetic powers, and was looking for some good excuse to use them.

So Captain Hero used his telekinesis to bring the dildo over to the bed. Then he stuck his ass into the air again, and nervously brought the dildo to his anus.

"Ohhh... _Oohhh_ ," he whimpered against the pillow and grabbed the sheet. His lip quivered as he slowly stuck the head of the dildo into his ass. Feeling it stretch his asshole made his legs shake, and his knees bend inward. He started crying uncontrollably for no reason.

"Wait a minute," he said, coming to his senses, "I'm Captain Hero, dammit! If I'm going to fuck myself up the ass, I'll be a man about it! Not some crying little pussy!"

He took a stronger stance, and grunted as he rammed the dildo into his ass. He moaned when it went all the way in, filling his ass. He grabbed the base of the dildo and started fucking himself. " _Ohh! **Oohh!**_ " he moaned as the dildo pounded his prostate. To his embarrassment, his cock drooled precum onto the mattress.

He rolled onto his side, lifting one leg into the air. He jerked himself off with his free hand, which made him gasp and pant like a bitch.

" _Ohhh! **Aahh!** Mmm! **Daddy! Mommy! Fernando! Ohh!** _ ...Hey, what does this button do?" he said normally. He pressed the button located at the base of the dildo. It started vibrating vigorously, making him scream. He grabbed the pillow with both hands and covered his face out of shame.

With one hand, he grabbed the base of the dildo and fucked himself harder and harder with the vibrator. He bit and sobbed into the pillow, until he was finally pushed over the edge. He came from prostate stimulation alone. Then he collapsed, rolled over onto his own cum, and passed out….

Captain Hero woke with a start from his sleep. He looked around. Everything seemed normal. Xandir was fast asleep in the opposite bed.

"Oh wow. That sure was one crazy wet dream I was having!" he said. He went to get himself a glass of water, but felt something funny. Looking over his shoulder, he realized the vibrator was still up his ass.

"Oh, fuck me." he said, going back to sleep.

Fin.


End file.
